Why I Used to Hate Fundraising

By Vince Burens, COO & Senior Consultant

“We’re afraid you won’t be able to raise enough money because you like people too much.” This concern was shared with me as I began my new role as CEO at a Christian nonprofit. Though I wouldn’t have put it that way, I admit that the fundraising part of my responsibilities did not excite me then. I loved the mission we were about and the young people we got to serve, but the fundraising? Well, I guess I’d just have to put up with it and hope it wouldn’t take too much of my time.

If this experience feels at all familiar, you are not alone. Many development professionals and non-profit leaders started out (or perhaps are still trying to slog through) fundraising with what I now see as a “transactional” mindset. I was one of them. Personally, I found it stressful, depleting and entirely at odds with how I wanted to engage people.

At The FOCUS Group (TFG), we talk a lot about relational engagement with donors. We base our entire philosophy on these six principles of fundraising, which express our approach of building long-term relationships with donors as we invite them to partner with us in the mission where we are engaged. Through my work with TFG, first as a client and now as a consultant, I have learned this approach to be an entirely different way of thinking about fundraising. At its heart, relational fundraising recognizes that we each have a redemptive role to play in the work God is doing.

The role of a fundraiser is to share about the mission that God has allowed them to steward and invite people to consider joining as partners in that calling. It’s non-threatening, missional and relational. No arm-twisting or slick sales pitches are required. Relational fundraising is deeply rooted in the belief that everything belongs to God. He alone owns the mission we have been called to. We are stewards of this mission field for a season. Because of this, ultimately, He is the one responsible for resourcing it, not us! This doesn’t mean that fundraisers don’t have work to do. But it sure does impact what we do, how we do it, and who we do it with.

As I learned more about fundraising relationally and started to put it into practice, I quickly realized two things: 1) it honored who God created me to be and the connection I had with our donors, and 2) it worked. Spending time in passages like I Chronicles 29:11-14 renewed my belief that everything (even generosity itself) really does belong to God. It gave me the freedom to have disarmingly honest conversations with our partners. I discovered that, often, donors feel awkward about money conversations, too. They don’t want to be treated like ATMs. They want to be known and appreciated. In this new approach, I could come alongside them and look at what we were both given to steward, discerning together if God was encouraging them to invest some of the resources He had given to the mission.

One time, I was with a very generous donor I had lunch with regularly. I dreaded bringing up his financial support as I could tell he always felt awkward about these conversations. So, instead, I decided to ask him how he’d like to be asked to give. He was shocked and said no one had ever asked him that question. He said he really enjoyed the time we spent together. He wanted us to continue our regular lunches but plan to only talk about his giving once a year in the fall. During the other lunches, we would catch up on life and family, talk about the ministry, and generally enjoy the work God was doing in each of our worlds. This open conversation was game-changing! Neither of us had to dread a financial discussion again, and we each had clarity about how to support the other in our respective roles.

In closing, here is a short (non-exhaustive) summary of some of the differences between a transactional and relational mindset in fundraising. What has your fundraising training been like? What is your approach today, and is it working for you? Is fundraising a joy or a ‘necessary evil’? If you want to learn more about our approach to relational fundraising, we’d love to connect with you.

Transactional Fundraising

Relational Fundraising

Fundraisers develop and use a “perfect pitch.”

Fundraisers develop missional relationships with donors.

The fundraiser’s role is to extract money by convincing donors.

The fundraiser’s role is to invite donors into a missional partnership.

Short-term thinking: never “leave money on the table.”

Long-term thinking: it’s OK to “leave money on the table” because we’re not leaving the table. We are in it together.

The donor has money and, therefore, the power; the fundraiser is subservient.

The donor and fundraiser each fulfill their unique callings in a bigger story. There is mutuality.

Scarcity mindset: “If I don’t do this right, I might not get enough, and there is only so much to go around.”

Abundance mindset: “Everything belongs to God, and he will provide what we need.  God’s work, in God’s timing, never lacks God’s resources.”

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