By Brad Layland, Chief Executive Officer & Senior Consultant
There’s a story from history that serves as a powerful reminder of how we can approach challenges, even when they seem insurmountable. Let’s look back to the American Civil War, where General Robert E. Lee, an accomplished engineer, strategically defended the capital of the Confederacy—Richmond, Virginia. He understood Richmond’s natural defenses well, fortifying it with intricate trench networks that seemed nearly impossible to breach. Confident that these defenses would hold, Lee relied on his engineering background to make Richmond look unbreakable from a military standpoint.
But across the field was Union General Ulysses S. Grant, a leader whose strength lay in logistics and unrelenting determination. Grant knew that brute force alone wouldn’t be enough to overcome Richmond’s defenses. Instead, he sought to isolate the city by targeting Petersburg, a vital rail hub supplying Richmond. His logistical approach involved gradually cutting off resources, believing that if he could choke the city’s supply lines, he could force Lee out without directly attacking Richmond’s strongest points.
For nearly ten months, Grant’s forces slowly tightened their grip around Richmond, using persistence and strategic maneuvers to sever Confederate supply routes. His relentless efforts eventually paid off at the Battle of Five Forks in April 1865, when Union troops cut the last Confederate supply line. This forced Lee to evacuate, and on April 3, 1865, Union forces entered Richmond, marking the fall of the Confederate capital and signaling the end of the Civil War.
In ministry and fundraising, we encounter challenges that often feel like Richmond—immovable, fortified against every strategy we have. Sometimes, a major donor declines to meet, an essential prospect backs away, or a campaign falls short. It can feel like our efforts are walled off with no way through. But like Grant, we need the perspective to see past the obstacle and find new ways forward. And sometimes, a “no” is just a temporary setback in the larger campaign.
This reminds me of a time when I was working to meet our annual fundraising goal, and a major donor had committed to match anything I could raise from a particular church. The only problem was that the church’s pastor wouldn’t agree to meet with me. I tried every approach I could think of, but his answer was always a polite “no.” After exhausting every avenue, I ultimately decided to go to his office early one morning. I arrived around nine and waited patiently in the reception area. His assistant kept saying he was unavailable, but I just stayed there, quietly reading my Bible, hour after hour. By the end of the day, after seeing my persistence, he finally took a meeting with me.
The pastor was encouraging and supportive, and for a moment, I felt like the breakthrough was just around the corner. But in the end, despite his kind words, the church still didn’t make a donation. It was another “no,” and I was still at zero. When I reported back to the major donor, I felt I had nothing to show. But when I explained what I’d done, shared the whole story, and the hours I’d waited, my friend who’d offered the match surprised me. Instead of backing out, he said he’d honor the entire match. Suddenly, all the money we needed to make budget was there. In that “no” from the church, surprisingly, there was also a resounding “yes.”
This experience underscores the fundraising principle I hold close to: a “no” is never forever. Sometimes, a “no” can be the very thing that prepares the way for a greater “yes” that you never could see coming. In our work, every “no” has context. And if we’re patient enough, persistent enough, and faithful enough, we can often find a way through, just as Grant did in Richmond.
The Taking Donors Seriously framework emphasizes this kind of strategic persistence. It teaches us to focus on the relationships at the heart of our work and to keep moving forward, knowing that every conversation, every attempt, and every “no” builds toward a larger “yes” that fulfills the mission we’re called to.
Next time you face a Richmond-sized obstacle, remember: there’s always a way. We may need to rethink our strategies, engage differently with our supporters, or simply keep showing up. But with faith, creativity, and persistence, even the impossible barriers can become pathways to success.
We’ve been privileged to help many organizations be more effective in their fundraising through learning and implementing the principles of relational fundraising in their major donor work. Want to talk?