by Scott Rodin, Senior Consultant & Chief Strategy Officer
The title of this blog post seems self-contradictory. Recently I’ve come to discover it is not. Here’s my quick story.
For the last five months I have been training hard to be part of a small team of people to climb Mount Baker in Washington state, as part of a wonderful local ministry called Peak 7. At 10,800 feet it is a challenging climb that includes crampons, ropes, and significant glacial travel. Last week we made the journey. The hike to the high base camp included crossing several rivers and ascending a final 3/4 of a mile along a steep and challenging ridgeline with our 45lb packs. Along the way, I pulled a muscle in my right quad forcing me to overuse my left leg to compensate. As a result, the final ascent up the ridge took a significant toll. By the time I reached base camp, I had expended far more energy than I could afford. When the alarm went off at midnight the next morning to get up and start the eight-hour trek to the summit, my body made it clear to me that I was not going to be going along. I watched as my son and his friend along with our two guides disappeared as little dots of light over a dark ridge in the distance.
Later that morning I woke to the scene I captured in the picture above. The question in my spirit was, how do I process what had just happened? I struggled with the disappointment of having trained so hard and yet come up short of my goal. I stood looking up at the summit, yearning to be up there with the team and capturing that photo at the top that I so longed to have framed in my office. As I stood with my gaze fixed on the summit, questioning what I could’ve done differently or how yesterday could have gone more according to plan, the brilliant warmth of the sun finally got my attention. I looked away from the summit for a moment and began to take in the grandeur of the place where I was standing. Slowly my heart, and my attitude began to change. I was alone in base camp with only the sound of the numerous streams bubbling their way out of the base of the glaciers and winding through spectacular meadows of brilliant wildflowers, finally disappearing over the crest of the ridge we had climbed the day before. I scrambled, gingerly, up on a small ridge above our camp and did a slow 360° look at the place that I was standing. I don’t believe I’ve ever stood in a more spectacular place on a more beautiful morning. Could it be, could it just be that this is what God had for me all along? Did I have the faith in God‘s plan for my life to embrace this moment as the true goal of all my work and preparation? Or would the disappointment of not making it to the summit rob me of the richness of this moment? In the end, if this was God‘s great gift for me, if this was his plan all along to create this moment to commune with me, to open up to me the magnificence of his incredible creation, to spend this morning just with me in deep fellowship, if that was truly the purpose of all that I had prepared for, would that be enough?
And that really is the question that is put to us every day. We plan our journeys, we set our goals, we define success, and all these things are good. I do strategic planning as a living, so I live in the world of future goals and aspirational plans. But in the end, if we lay our lives in God‘s hands and trust that he has our very best at heart, if his vision for our future is the best possible vision for our future, then as we pursue it obediently, can we ever be anything but grateful for the outcome? Or do we let the enemy rob us of the joys and blessings God has for us each day by always turning our gaze to the summit, to what we don’t have, to what we didn’t achieve, to where we felt like we came up short of our own personal definitions of success and happiness? Do we really trust that God has our very best in mind and are we willing not only to accept that, but to rejoice and glory in it? Is God‘s provision for us, in the end, enough?
I came away from this experience understanding that amid deep disappointment, we actually find a better vision for our life if we trust that God has brought us to the place where we are, and has for us, right here, right now, all the blessings and joys and happiness that he wants for us. What a tragedy it would have been if the disappointment of not having made it to the summit would have ruined my day with him. In the end, I left that climb at peace that I had received all that God had for me. I discovered that strange place where deep gratitude and disappointment meet.
I pray that each of you may find that same sense of deep peace that leads to overwhelming gratitude for the place God has you exactly where you are, right now, today. Stop, look around and be thankful.
This blog originally appeared on the Center for Steward Leader Studies.
Scott leads our DISCERNⓇ process: a Spirit-led process of faith where, together, we seek to discern God‘s will for the future of your ministry and then pursue it with excellence. We’d love to talk with you about how that might work for your organization.