Authors: Dr. Hector Cruz, Consultant | Amy Karjala, Senior Consultant | Brian Miller, Senior Consultant
Part one of this series focused on the foundation of effective major gift work: treating donors as partners, building a compelling case for support, and letting strategy drive activity.
At The FOCUS Group, our Taking Donors Seriously® (TDS) system reminds us that fundraising is not primarily about transactions; it’s about relationships. With that in mind these next two common mistakes showcase two critical moments that can make or break a donor relationship: the ask and what happens afterward.
Mistake #4: Avoiding the Ask (Or Asking Poorly)
Even seasoned MGOs can struggle with the actual moment of asking. Feelings of fear, discomfort, or uncertainty often lead to vague asks or no ask at all.
What this looks like:
MGOs hint at needs, send follow-up emails instead of asking in person, or ask for amounts disconnected from a donor’s capacity.
A TDS® lens:
Always let people know ahead of time when you’re planning to ask, and ask them for something they can give.
How to fix it:
- Prepare donors well in advance for the ask.
- Use gift plans and ranges based on thoughtful preparation.
- Practice asking clearly, confidently, and respectfully.
Real-life example:
A donor was repeatedly “cultivated” for years without ever being asked. When the MGO finally made a clear, well-prepared ask, the donor responded with gratitude and said they had been waiting to be invited.
Mistake #5: Neglecting Follow-up and Ongoing Engagement
One of the greatest failures in fundraising is not poor asking; it’s poor follow-up.
What this looks like:
Thank-you letters are delayed, impact reports are vague, and donors hear from the organization only when another gift is needed.
A TDS® lens:
People give when they are involved and have a sense of ownership. Follow-up is how ownership is built.
How to fix it:
- Follow up promptly after every meeting, whether a gift was made or not.
- Clearly restate commitments, timelines, and next steps.
- Share stories and impact consistently, not just at year-end.
Real-life example:
An organization experiencing high donor turnover discovered that most donors never received personal follow-up beyond a receipt. After implementing intentional stewardship touchpoints, retention and lifetime value increased dramatically.
Practical Implications for Leaders and MGOs
Major gift work thrives when clarity, strategy, and relationships are aligned. For MGOs, this means slowing down, planning well, and engaging donors as true partners in mission. For CEOs and development leaders, it means equipping MGOs with the tools, case, and strategy they need to succeed.
At its best, major gift fundraising is not about pressure; it’s about invitation. It invites donors into meaningful Kingdom work they cannot accomplish alone.
When we take donors seriously, we honor their generosity, strengthen our ministries, and build sustainable impact for the people we serve.
About the Authors
Dr. Hector Cruz, CFRE serves as Consultant at The FOCUS Group. He is a seasoned leader in development, fundraising, and higher education, helping Christian organizations strengthen their fundraising strategies and leadership through practical coaching and training.
Amy Karjala is a Senior Consultant at The FOCUS Group. With more than 25 years of nonprofit leadership and fundraising experience, she partners with ministries and nonprofit organizations to develop sustainable fundraising strategies and cultivate meaningful donor relationships.
Brian Miller is a Senior Consultant at The FOCUS Group. He brings more than 30 years of leadership experience across the philanthropic, housing, and social development sectors. Brian partners with nonprofit organizations to strengthen fundraising strategies, build organizational capacity, and advance mission-driven impact through thoughtful leadership and donor engagement.
We’ve been privileged to help many organizations be more effective in their fundraising by learning and implementing relational fundraising principles in their work with donors. Want to talk?